Soul Searching Lyrics

So much weight on my chest

I feel so alone don't know how to express

The stress in my heart

The wounds in my soul

The past is the past but I can't let it go and it breaks me

I swear this shit fucking breaks me

I'm desperate, can somebody come and save me?

Cause lately, I've been close to the fuckin' edge

So many suicidal thoughts in my fucking head

I'm so depressed and I feel ashamed

Popping pills everyday so I don't feel the pain

But I don't say shit

I don't ever say shit

Cause every time I try it's like I hear the same shit

Jay, you gon' be just fine

You just gotta give it time, find your peace of mind

But you don't understand the tears that I shed

Sometimes I just cry only wishing I was dead and I'm sorry

I'm truly sorry for the way I feel

I'm so lost in my dreams don't know what is real

This poetry is all I have when I feel deprived

I grab my pad and my pen and I feel revived

I can't decide what the fuck am I here for

I'm doing what I love but my heart's still sore

I still battle with depression on a daily

I see my own reflection and I swear I fuckin' hate me

I said I swear I fuckin' hate me

Got a big heart but my heart's slowly breaking

Chasing all my dreams but I don't know where it's gon' take me

Tired of being broke, gotta start acting shady

Making dirty money, yo, this shit is so degrading

Momma know I'm sorry for this route in which I'm taking

I ain't fuckin' proud of these decisions that I'm making but I'm desperate for some Answers why my heart is always aching

If you hear me Lord, talk to me

All the sins from my past have been haunting me

I'm so scared of the future so I stay stuck

Broken into pieces yo my spirits all taped up

I came up, but it feels like I'm coming down

Pool full of liquor swim 'til I fuckin' drown

That's the only way I know how to crack a smile

Taking shots 'til I vomit and I'm passing out

When I'm sober I just feel afraid

I don't know if I'ma live to see another day

I'm tryna' stand but I feel like I'm 'boutta cave

I'm so trapped in my mind like a fuckin' slave

So much weight on my chest got me feeling tired

Plague in my soul I swear is like a wildfire

Like a wildfire spreading everywhere take a look into my eyes see the pain

Yo there's plenty there

See the pain yo there's plenty there

But I don't know if they really care

Where is love is it anywhere?

And if it is yo it's really rare

Can a broken heart be repaired?

Can a broken heart be repaired?

Can you tell me yo I need to know

Or is it lost in our own despair?

Can you tell me yo I need to know

Can you tell me yo I need to know

Or is it lost in our own despair?