Final Words Lyrics

I wear this mask every single day

I walk around with a smile like everything's okay

But it's not

My whole entire life's in shambles

And my thoughts are always scattered like a game of scrabble

And I'm sorry if I ramble

But this is how I feel and these emotions are too much to handle

And I ain't got no one to talk to

I feel so alone in these halls in which I walk through

I go to school and I get laughed at

And when I try to make a friend I get backstabbed

And when I walk to class they always yank my backpack

They knock me down and yell "Take that you fag-bag"

And everybody laughs hysterically

How could they treat someone so cruel and so carelessly?

They don't even know my name or a thing about me

So ashamed this world is probably better off without me

I feel worthless

Questioning myself what did I ever do to deserve this

I feel nervous every time I step inside my class

Cause the second I walk in I start being harassed

They leave notes right up on my desk

Telling me that I should wrap a rope around my neck

Sending threats that they'll kick my ass right after school

And if I open up my mouth I'm only adding fuel

So I stay quiet

And when teachers ask what's going on I just deny it

And they buy it

They buy it every single time

Can't they realize these lies which I hide behind?

Can't they hear it in my voice?

I fabricate the truth cause I ain't really got no choice

Constantly in fear I walk these halls in pure trepidation

Why do all these kids cause me so much devastation?

Just today at lunch

I was sitting by myself and got sucker punched

They hit my head hard and knocked the food right off my tray

Beat me to the ground and poured some milk right on my face

They yelled this is what you get

You worthless piece of shit no one wants to be ya' friend

I hope you fucking die so we don't see your face again

And don't you cry for help or else we'll fucking break ya' chin

And everybody started laughing

As I'm wiping off the milk with some torn up napkins

I could feel my hands shaking and my head spinning

Body aching from the punch, knees and leg kicking

I grab my book bag and limp away

Thinking to myself the same shit a different day

So I step inside the bathroom to be alone

And from inside the stalls I heard a voice so unknown

So I knocked and opened up the door

It was a kid breaking down on the bathroom floor

So I asked what his name and what was wrong

He slowly looked up and told me that his name was Tom

He said I'm sick of being picked on

Sick of being laughed at my life is one big sitcom

I can't do this shit no more

My heart is torn apart playing a game of tug of war

Cause one half seeks forgiveness

And the other wants revenge for the pain inflicted

They're the reason why my happiness is so restricted

Can you blame me for the way I feel and being vindictive?

And I replied I feel the same way

Perhaps you and I were meant to share the same fate

I wanna' kill em' all, every last one of em'

And Tom replied you need guns? I got a ton of em'

From that point forward

We both made a promise that would bring us so much closer

Looked him in his eyes and I could tell we shared the same drive

The same hate deep inside from being victimized

So we shook hands and made a deal

That we'd keep our mouths shut and our plans concealed

A few hours passed then we met up at his house

The thought of finally getting vengeance made us both aroused

The house was empty with nobody home

He said my family's on vacation and left me alone

I feel disowned and to be honest I've grown numb to it

Cause my whole life all I've ever done was run from it

But that shit stops tomorrow

I swear to fucking God that everyone will feel my sorrow

And then he pulled out two duffel bags

He said this is for those who caused us trouble on our paths

And each bag had weapons loaded

Handguns, magazines and homemade explosives

We agreed that tomorrow they would feel our wrath

And every classroom in the school would be a bloodbath

I finally felt like I had power

And when tomorrow comes I'll show em' all who's the real coward

For all the tears that they made me shed

For all the fear that made me wish that I was fucking dead

I just wish I had some help

I wish the ones I love did not ignore my mental health

My parents hardly speak to me how could they ever tell

I'm a danger to myself and now society as well and it's too late

I'm so broken way beyond repair

Tired of hoping that somebody out there really cares

But maybe now they will finally pay some attention

Maybe now they will finally show some affection

And to the kids at school

I hope that you regret the torment that you put me through

All I wanted was a friend someone to have my back

To put my pain at ease and place my mind back on track

I've been bullied my entire life

My heart is filled with hatred, agony and so much strife

This was the only way I could escape

I had to let go and finally lose my grip with faith

These are my final words

And by now I'm probably dead or underneath the dirt

I am the product of a blessing that was once neglected

I am the product of an angel that became demented

I promise you I'm not the only one

Pay attention to the closest and the lonely ones

Try and help before it's too late

Before they end up just like me and meet their doomsday