sick of trying Lyrics

I relapsed for the last time

Hoping that I overdose and I fucking flatline

Said I was done yeah I said that the last time

Coke in my gums when I said this the last line

Drugs became a past time popping shit to pass time

I'd rather be faded nigga don't even ask why

I'm inebriated gotta bottle on standby

So intoxicated I can't even fucking stand right

I'm so devastated I don't ever hold my head high

Nothing to be proud of I am never satisfied

I been popping downers so my urges gratified

But no amount of shit I take will ever justify

Or compensate for all the shit that's been bottled up inside

Deserve to be chastised I can't do nothing right

Hoping this the last night so I no longer have to fight

Let the drugs do what they will lead me to the light

Hoping I'm no longer here when I open up my eyes

I am nothing special or important hoping that I die

I am on several different substances coping with this strife

I am sick of trying sick of fighting for hope in this life

Feel like I'm dying I won't fight I just close my eyes

Brains frying now I'm crying sweet release I found bliss

Tears of joy I rejoice as my life nears its end

Didn't have a fair shot but that's just how it is

Suffered from the start so much pain from within

I was bound for the floor never had a chance to win

It's impressive how long that I put up with this shit

Been neglected so long now my patience running thin

Weight of this depression made fold break and bend

If I could start over and do it all again

With a fair shot I'd take that shot at my fucking head

Save myself from the sorrow this is no way to live

I'd do myself a favor slit my throat with razor

I have been forsaken I don't know of a savior

Wouldn't even save me because of my behavior

Have mercy on my soul in this life I have paid up

Hoping for a paradise but I know it's made up

Feel I deserve peace yuh not asking for too much

Will I find peace while deceased I'll know soon enough

Will I find meaning to this mess or was it just for none

I been looking for a sign hoping someone show me some

Or way to escape all this pain that's been dealt upon

I been looking for a sign hoping someone show me some

Or way to escape all this pain that's been dealt upon