Jar Song Lyrics

I stuck my dick in a peanut butter jar

I tried to pull it out

But I didn't get very far

Now I have my dick in a peanut butter jar

I don't know what to do

Should I call my mom?

Should I call my dad?

Should I call the doctor?

It hurts real bad

It's turning blue, it's turning purple

I just wanna fucking die

Cuz now my dick's in a peanut butter jar

And I don't know what to

I'm gonna scream

Somebody help me get the jar off

I don't know what to do

I know I've said it a million times before

But my dick is in a jar

And I wanna die

I can't get it out, I'm gonna scream

Please don't look at me with those eyes

Some say your penis is sacred

Some say you should protect your dick

Some say your penis is sacred

Some say you should protect your dick

My dick has been in the jar for

About six hours

I don't know what to do

I searched it online

And everyone laughed at me

I left a comment on reddit and

They said that I'm a fucking idiot

They said "why did you stick your dick

In the peanut butter jar"

I don't know, I wanted to!

Now I wanna get it out

I don't know what to do

I'm freaking out, I'm gonna scream

My dick is in the jar

I called my dad and he laughed at me

He said that I'm no son of his

And my mom took me out of her will

Some say your penis is sacred

Some say you should protect your dick

Some say your penis is sacred

Some say you should protect your dick

Nobody will give me an answer on what to do

How did I even fit in the peanut butter jar?

I guess I have a chode

I guess my penis is quite girthy

It's like a fucking salami

But like a really big salami

I think I might be black

I'm kidding, that was mildly racist

I didn't mean it

I'm just fucking scared

Cuz my dick is in the jar

And I don't know what to do

I can't comprehend how my dick can fit in the jar

It seriously blows my mind

That I could even fit in the peanut butter jar

Motherfucker

Some say your penis is sacred

Some say you should protect your dick

Some say your penis is sacred

Some say you should protect your dick

I guess this is the outro

I mean, this is my life now

My penis is stuck in a peanut butter jar

I thought it would be a good idea

But, you know, it really wasn't

So, if you take away anything from this song

You know, just learn from me

Learn from my mistakes

If you're gonna stick your dick in anything

Make sure it's an appropriate sized hole

Because this is a fucking problem

I don't know what to do

Like, I guess I'll go to the hospital

Fuck