STAGE THERAPY Lyrics

We look at childhood photos and thank god for the glow up

Without realizing how much of ourselves we had to lose in order to grow up

Thinking that getting older equates to progress

While undermining the amount of trauma we got left to process

We got Black babies born into toxicity

Cradled in the arms of depression

Where broken homes lead to finding false-love disguising dark lessons

And learning how to heal feels impossible

Because we witnessed all the worst methods

Where your own mind can't be considered a safe space

Because suppressed cries birth abusive thoughts eventually

The first time I contemplated suicide I was in elementary

Now tell me

Are you more tormented than a fifth grader

Thinking you healed from old scars

Just to step into adulthood and have to deal with the shit later

Because trauma never leaves

It just shows up in other places

I'm from where we get use to putting on brave faces

Because it's easier than feeling more alone than you did before explaining

So silenced cries make me take my pain and mask it

I realized that I'm never happy

Just distracted

Because so many calendar dates hold sadness

Making me wear darkness hidden behind brave faces

Now depression play ventriloquist to these smiles

As I say goodbye vulnerability

To say hello to safeguarding these wounds

Now the closest thing to me being open is putting paper to pen

I turned trauma into wordplay

To clear it all out when I step on stage

As an artist painting traumas in shades

That make people call it beautiful

Despite the damage that it do to you

So lately I been praying to the God that I been struggling to believe in

And I been closed off to the people closest to me

I'm more comfortable opening up on stages in front of strangers

When being alone with my thoughts

Became one of the most dangerous places

But after I leave these venues

My suicidal thoughts be there when no one else is

But it's cool I handle shit on my own

I don't know what help is