My Dog Lyrics

He's never said anything racist

He never says anything mean

He would never support a fascist

Political regime

He never tries to argue

He'll do what he is told

He's good on the level of Jesus

And he's light enough to hold

My dog is a better person

Than you will ever be

He's not a libertarian

And he's not polluting the sea

He's never quoted the bible

He doesn't watch the news

He likes to pee on the carpet

But he doesn't blame the Jews

See how easy it is to not be a piece of shit

My dog does it everyday and all he does is sit

And he's a good boy

Better than the people I know

He's a good boy

And he doesn't do it for show

My dog is a better person

Than you will ever be

He doesn't steal from the homeless

He doesn't pee in the seat

He doesn't cheat on his own wife

And he doesn't own a nuke

He like to puke on the carpet

But then he eats the puke

So then there's nothing left to clean up

What a good boy

He's better than you