Jesus Is For Everyone Lyrics

Welcome to our family church

We got wine, and crackers and lots of dirt

If you piss off God we'll hunt you down

Because Jesus Christ don't mess around

Hunt you down is what we'll do

Then we'll let God hit you with a Subaru

Imprezas, Outback's, GTRs

Subarus are Jesus cars

Obey God or you'll repent

For the sins of life, so don't have sex!

And if you do you'll go hell

So don't do the sex or you will swell

From STDs that's what I mean

Premarital sex is blasphemy

Aids, Crabs, Gonorrhoea

They're not fun, let's ask Maria

I only did finger stuff

And now I'm dying, oh what fun

So see kids if you do the sex

You will surely pass away next

That's a promise, we assure

Praise our Jesus, find the cure

All non Christian's need to die

So gather round let's make 'em cry

Jesus is for everyone

Except non Christians, they're not fun

Don't support the Devils ruse

And don't drink whiskey, that's booze

Jesus is for everyone

Except atheists, they're not fun

Don't support the Devils music

Rock is bad and you might lose it

If you drink then that's a sin

Don't mix Vodka with your Gin

Alcohol should be illegal

So just ask, Jason Segel

Hello friends I'm Jason Segel

Alcohol should be illegal

Smoking too because it's bad

So no smoke bad, bad for you

Rock n Roll is so atrocious

You'll be in a state of psychosis

Please we beg you not to listen

If you do you'll lose your vision

God will smite you, rue the day

But maybe he won't, as long as you pray

And do not smoke the Devils lettuce

Or pastor Tom will kill your children

Leave you kids with pastor Tom

He's a good person, we're not wrong

They may come back a little bruised

But rest assured they were not abused

We don't think that kids are attractive

Only the pastors wait, no! Jason Segel

Jason Segel

Jesus is for everyone

Except non Christians, they're not fun

Don't support the Devils ruse

And don't drink whiskey, that's booze

Jesus is for everyone

Except atheists, they're not fun

Don't support the Devils music

Rock is bad and you might lose it