If only you knew Lyrics

Don't know what to say, looked to god and prayed

Demons in my head and they fucking up my day

Apologetic to my family cuz I'm pushing them away

Close my eyes and fight it back just lemme smoke my pain away

Mentally unstable and it's fuckin' up my brain

I try to fight him back, but he's just better in every way

My pride won't let me call them and its hurting everyday

My family's not the problem I can't loosen up that chain

Look into my soul, look into my eyes

You can see I'm holding back when I'm fighting back my pride

Gotta keep that tunnel vision but it's fucking up my stride

But I know I'm making charts and I'll bring them for the ride

Can you feel the pain?

Can you feel the flow?

I know my uncles with me when I'm puttin' on a show

He told rap my feelings, and he told me imma grow

When I'm in my feelings I just pick a beat and flow

Can someone please be my friend?

Before its starts to hurt again

If only you knew, If only you knew

Pick a beat and flow, pick a beat and grow

I put the pen away cuz I know I can't be the goat

I'm hiding all my pain, my demons got me by the throat

I wish there was a way so I could tell you how it goes

Oh wait I gotta mic, oh wait I know to rhyme

I know it's in my blood so tell me why I am wasting time

I feel I'm being watched I think I'm crazy, out my mind

I know they talk about me, think I'm deaf or maybe blind?

I know I'm not okay, just wanna run away

Smoking all this weed cuz it just takes the pain away

I smoke until I'm better, but I feel it anyway

My momma taught me to do better, he had other plans for me

I ain't telling what is wrong, listen to my songs

I ain't putting any effort, think my older self is gone

What am I doing wrong, if y'all sing along

Y'all can feel my pain, and maybe learn that I'm not strong

Can someone please be my friend

Before its starts to hurt again

If only you knew, If only you knew