Charisma #50 Lyrics

I was biking through the, uh, yeah

Canton snowstorms, I was biking through the pain

Numb fingers baking pizza, busy grinding for some change

Was finna see my shorty with the money that I gained

Put a girl beyond my art before I couldn't entertain

I'm ashamed, usually a nigga is more tame

But something that's about her helped a nigga ease his brain

Just to maintain man, but now I'm not the same man

Chose you, should've picked I like hangman

Insecure now the task getting tall for me

Half my friends can't name five songs of me

Maybe it's my fault

Assuming you would just assist is just what I thought

I gotta get these rhymes off

It sucks when everybody want attention

So worried bout themselves, they don't care that I seek ascension

It bothers you just to mention

You help me to be great, but then follow it with discretion

And honestly it's upsetting, I'm drained

Tryna balance both life's got me tumbling

One arm in and arm out got me crumbling

Even from mi casa, a nigga heard the rumblings (Eren)

Chris was fumbling, now tell me what's become of him he's lost

And maybe sanity was just the cost

Cause now that I don't give a fuck, I truly want it all with all I got

Started with a little, now a nigga want a lot

Still Chrissy from the block, still aiming for the top

Begging for attention I was crying through the pen

Was tryna fill the void when all I needed was a friend

Looking towards the present, I was tryna see the end

And I ain't ever tryna fuck a moment up again

But it's hard, a nigga ain't been sleeping anymore

Christmas boutta come around, can't settle for a card

So if you missing shit from Walmart, then I probably was involved

And still ain't pay the phone bill, sorry missed your call

Student loans on my ass

Stupid hoes in my past

What they both got in common is they both still attached to my name

They keeping tabs on me as I age

And taking more and more from a nigga just the same

It's a shame mom I tried, but I barely could survive

I've been anxious for some time, I can't do this 9 to 5

So I'm sorry that I smoke, but not sorry that I'm tired

Cause that life ain't worth living, I just wanna feel alive

I'm surrounded by people that's feeling stagnant or losing passion

Ashes to these attachments, I outlast them

I've been on the grind tryna get established

Only my career like I'm working on my badges

Ain't no change till you switch up or you probably can't adjust

I remember no drip, same collar on for months

Damian he used to slide me couple dollars for the cuts

I used to flip that, turned Dame's dollar into bucks

I ain't sweet, I'd rather be a monster than be honey

For the money must've been dead for you to take it from me

Insane like Dushane getting everything that's for me

Gon' be lonely at the Top Boy, grinding like I'm Sully

I just wanna take off, spaceship

So I switched to teaching kids, on some Tyler James shit

Watching Abbot Elementary when I couldn't face shit

Ain't much else to do when everybody hates Chris

When it gets flushed out, I can't stand to take shit

Cause now I'm pissed off, so loneliness can only make sense

But if I'm lonely for too long, I'ma stay the same Chris

I've been tryna change shit, can't be on the same shit

Cause some niggas still addicted, some niggas got sober

Some niggas grew up while some niggas got older

I look up to the Lord, I'm reminded what he showed us

Don't need a lighter burden, I just pray for broader shoulders