Rest In Paradise Lyrics

Dear Brother

I been dreaming about you

Most of the time when I'm laying down I think about the things didn't do

How I could of improved

How I didn't nurture you with more passion and pursuit

I always told myself you were the issue instead of doing more than lecturing, I should have took you through what I've been through

We grew up in the same household but with different views

And that was all I knew

But I didn't know your pain

I wish I fucking knew

Cause things could of change

The outcome wouldn't be so blue

All I seen was the streets, how you thugin and being g was all inside of my belief

It left a permanent seed and I missed the obvious things like how you looked up to me

What you inspired to be

Wasn't to push all of the p

To be the figure picture to the family

I should have gave you more respect instead of tryna give you intellect because all you did was leave me upset and more regrets

I know I hadn't been the best brother in past years

Was more like a role model that you held dear

I tried to show you the light in the times of doing right, not having to steal or fight

Now it's all clear

A different type of fear more deadlier than not having a career

The constant comparison

Why you not like the older brother

You're an embarrassment is probably what you thought or even heard

Not cherished a bit

Being in my shadow just wasn't it

So you did what you needed just to get that acknowledgment

I hope you were proud of it or maybe I'm just wrong and you wanted the opposite

To leave it in the past but you got caught back in all of it and had to suffer the consequence

I pray to god you found peace of mind

Once upon a time you were once a piece of mine

Now I'm struggling to find that inner strength to reach up high and leap into the sky cause when I'm thinking bout the times

All I fucking do is cry

Just the brotherhood between you and I

Maybe even that we outgrew

I didn't wanna have to lose

Now I'm sitting in a room questioning why was it you

But I get no response so I'm left confused

Hurt inside without a clue

In spirit not the physical is hard for me to accept and that's the hard part getting past your death cause that's the first step

It's almost deja vu because our cousin was shot and killed at 18 too

Life is without lessons is very true but I wish the lesson hadn't took your life from you

People tell me that I shouldn't blame myself

But I feel like I'm the cause of your death

The anger from that thought is why I can't accept the fact your gone

The closest person to my heart has just left

I think I need some help

To repair the hole inside of my chest

My heart is missing parts and bits of it

And god with all due respect

The way you pick and choose just isn't the best and you need to improve that tool and make it correct

I still thank you god

He's now in a better place

I love you brother

I wish you didn't die or have to meet your demise the way you did but you got to see the light

I know the grass is prettier on the other side

Just save a huge spot up on a hill for your family lives

You're in heaven now, you don't need no more advice

Happy birthday nigga

Rest in paradise