LOST Lyrics

I'm on my own, I'm all alone

Here I go again

(Hey Karma)

19 years, 19 years of pain

Don't know where to go from here

I need to go maintain myself

Inflicted in agony, my family sees anxiety

Been hiding it for so long

Now it's all a part of me

Every day there's tragedy

My dad shows me the biggest things

They're all not just big things

Sometimes it's just the little things

The question is, who do I wanna be

I guess that's something for me to figure out

We'll see

I'm trying, consulting

Pray god, I'm not just hoping

Confronting all my demons

It feels like I'm always choking

What if I carry my pain for 19 years

Instead of blood-faced fronting

Never confronting, always divulging

Making excuses, stop your sulking

Where does pain come from

What is this evil

I've felt this for years

I can never speak

What do I believe in

Why am I here

I don't know

But I guess we'll see

(Hey Karma)

I don't wanna succumb to my pain

Living in the dark damn near every day

Struggling with love and life itself

Don't know if my mind and thoughts can refrain

I don't wanna do this again

They're always just asking me, can I explain

My brain is running like a train

Boiling blood, my life's in vain

You cannot subdue, you cannot contain

I'm nothing like you, the average J

I wanna be new, I wanna be different

I'm fucked up inside and nobody listens

I wanted to die but nobody would get in

Sorry, I almost just died off the med's

Stuck in an endless root of torment

Tryna figure out all that's inside my head

Sorry for judging

And always being controlling

Keeping your life in an endless root of pain

I've been divulging

This is the dark side, can't you see it

This seems familiar

I've been here before

I don't know what to do with myself

So I might just go out and please open the door

I'm trying, contemplating

My mind is always sculpting

And sculpting different scenarios

I don't know if I can control it

So when I reload, I cop out the gun

Blow out your brain and your life is over

I've heard that so many times now in my life

I don't wanna own it

I'm not saying all I hear is judgment

I'm not saying all I feel is pain

It's never okay to speak on emotionally

Cause at that point, throw your life away

Define success, what is your motive

Why do you wake up every day

What is forgiveness, what is love

I struggle with that damn near every day

I'm done with the pain, I'm done with love

I'm done with drugs, I'm done with the hugs

Give me a halo and I'll float above

Oh wait, this is wrong, huh, you thought

I'm done with the shit, I'm done with the lies

I'm done with the games, the wasted time

Constant torment I put on my mind

This is no crime, I'm still on my prime

Okay, the past two years, let's recap

Writing my own style, something that I never regret

Only being me, I don't care if you hate that

Tell me where the scenes at, I don't really need that

Used to be the kid that they would always pick last

I used to be the kid that they would always laugh at

They said I came a long way, happy that you see that

Now I wear the black vest, I'm the contestant (Woo!)