Soul Surgery Lyrics

I try therapy

But that only goes so far

In this reality

Even time can't heal these scars

And there ain't no sleep

For a full time psychonaut

All of eternity

All of eternity

So I just breathe

Through the overwhelming thoughts

And I hope to be

Okay even though I'm not

In this reality

While time keeps speeding up

Taking my family

Taking my family

It was never my intention to open up the box

And now I pay the consequences but for what and at what cost?

I only wanted a transcendence but I took it way too far

And now I think I know too much. I guess I found what I had sought

I'm not religious but it's funny all the parallels I see

Biblical trees, Eve, apples, snakes and LSD

Holy sisters with a mission see an opportunity

A wounded sinner at his wit's end tortured by symbolic dreams

They place a hand upon his heart while claiming total sympathy

And dug in deeper to his mind performing soul surgery

They almost had me till they came for the most core part of me

How I love and who I'm loving saying God did not agree

And so I hugged them and I thanked them for their generosity

And let them believe that they helped me get a little clarity

And in that moment made the choice to never trust anybody

Because they'll fucking rip my heart out like it's out of love for me

I'm frozen

Trapped in the loop of time

I've broken

The architecture of my mind

Mouth wide open

But I don't know if I should say this

I'm hopeless

And I'm scared that it's contagious

In my twenties I'm a big boy now

But I'm still about as clueless when I was a child and

Michael Myers doesn't scare me now

But there's a new kind of boogeyman in town

And it's creeping, creeping up on me

It wears the faces of my loved ones, sneaking in my dreams

It took a bite out of my neck and I woke up seizing

Now I gotta get it checked

What does it mean?

Dreams of sacred ancient knowledge being handed to me

Beware the questions that you ask, 'cause you shall receive

It's all a little much to handle

Better count my breathing

My mind is cracking open

Now it won't stop bleeding

Oh God

Can you help me out?

Cause I'm going down

Look who the little nihilist is praying out to now

Oh God

Where are you now?

Cause I'm going down

Mouth wide open, try to scream

But it won't come out

Hell is not a place

Hell is not a time

Hell is not a pit of fire that we burn in when we die

But hell is not a myth

No, hell is not a lie

It's a state of mind

Help me