Tinder Loving Care

I've had a lot of fun these past few weeks

But I think there's something we really need to discuss

I love your platinum hair and your striking eyes (striking eyes)

I love the tattoos scrawled across your milky thighs (milky thighs)

But there's just one thing that's been playing on my mind

I didn't know you had a penis when I swiped right

I know it's not P.C. in this day and age. (day and age)

It's the time of cancel culture, unbridled ire and rage. (ire and rage)

I don't want to upset you, I don't mean to offend,

Guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm your new boyfriend.