how it started... Lyrics

How it started? Tell you the truth can't even call it

Feeling my darkest emotions that I didn't bargained

Demons keep calling every time I'm nearly falling

Emotional target. That stopped me from ballin the hardest

Can't go out in public that's when I faced al my scarring

Swaying sideways they thought I was half retarded

I laugh that shit off even though it kinda harmed me

Anxiety as a kid now y'all niggas saying sorry

Been insecure since middle school but that's another story

I kept distancing myself and got everybody worried

When I was in that 8th floor ward I looked in to the walls

And had life or death choice and didn't know who to call

Now I'm thoughtless and far from flawless

And drinking so I can forget about the scarring

I swear the demons keep working on me the hardest

What else to do when you watching your life falling?

That's how it started for real

I'm gonna tell you how it really started

Felt like it started in first grade that's when I became an easy target

I got picked on and called out. Was like the odd kid out

And my great aunt was the only one that I called on it about

That's why me and my aunt is so close to each other

Felt like the black sheep and I was disappointing my mother

But at the time I need acceptance from my family

Cause I got other relatives that was being damned at me

And since my mama died part of me died as well

Didn't give a damn about the world or even myself

That shit ain't easy to forget when I lost her too soon

And while I grieved for so long I was in the darkest room

Mad at the world but I was sad at the reality

From the loss and the society was just bad to me

I was really drowning and I'm falling

And that's exactly on how it started

That's how it started for real