VHS Lyrics

Help me get a better understand of

Why I deserve the same amount of love

As everyone who is around me

I feel like I don't match up to them

I need something to make me feel so special

I wanna go out and not feel like a piece of shit

How can you tell if what you said was fine

Or if everybody's looking at you weird now

When I was a kid it didn't make no sense

Why people didn't wanna be my friend

But looking back now that I'm older

I think I completely understand

I want it to still matter that it's summer

I don't care if what I'm saying sounds like total shit

It hurts when you internalize the fact that

You aren't ever gonna feel okay again

I broke my very favorite VHS tape

When I was just about six years old

I did it on purpose 'cause I didn't like

That one scene even though I liked the rest

I knew what I did it couldn't be undone

I felt like the dumbest person in the world

But I couldn't do anything to make it better

I went crying to my dad and told him what I did

He wasn't proud of me

He wasn't proud of me

He wasn't proud of me

And if you just want it to be alright, God damn it

Then it's never gonna be alright

But if you think you need a little advice

Don't worry, you ain't supposed to feel alright

And I don't wanna be alone, God damn it

I don't wanna be alone, God damn it

I don't never wanna be alone, God damn I swear

And I know it's better left unsaid, but God damn it

I know it's better left unsaid, but God damn it

I know it's better left unsaid, but

I can't just unsay it now

Spent the whole summer in the rain

And when I came out I felt like a part of me had changed

But the more I get older and awake

Those people that changed me, they all just seem to go away

'Cause when you care more about having friends

Then you do about being honest with them, no

All it's gonna do is not make any sense, no

All it's gonna do is not make any sense

'Cause I felt like Jesus Christ had come to get me

He was telling me what I done wrong

But I didn't wanna hear it

No, God damn it

I just really wanted to go home

And I thought that it was better to keep on saying nothing

Than risk talking and saying something wrong

When she cried I didn't hold her

I didn't even touch her

'Cause I thought that she would take it wrong

And her mama called the police

Or maybe she didn't

But she threatened me with it on the phone

'Cause I kept her daughter out way later than her curfew

And she really didn't like that at all

And she said her mama told her she ain't supposed to see me

Said that we couldn't hang out anymore

And she really kept her promise

I still don't wanna see her

She don't even live here anymore

And I'm sorry for the years that I spent doing nothing

I was crying on my bedroom floor

But I don't wanna do it

No, God damn it

I don't wanna do it anymore

I saw your message on the window pane

I felt your presence underneath me

I know you are in a better place now

I wrote a letter and I put it in the ground

I don't think you knew how much that you meant to me

But I won't ever make that same mistake again

What could I do? I was only six years old

No one ever really talked to me about death

I knew you weren't getting any better, but

I thought that we would've had a little more time

I hope your time with me was worth it

I hope you don't have to wear the eye patch

I lost the video game that you gave me

It had your name written on the title screen

I wish I had it in my bedroom

I wish I could talk to you again