The Monologue Lyrics

Let me explain what I've been through

Judge me after you walk up in my shoes

Father bounced 'fore I could open up my eyes

Picked on in school ,my mama didn't date guys

Wanted to protect her, so I thought of many lies

And I swear it really be killing me inside

Rent free in my mind

My dad currently resides

Pray one day I can forgive him 'fore I die

Stubborn as hell and fall victim to pride

Feeling like life is too much

But kings never cry

Sit back with a birds eye

Take a shot of alcohol and try to analyze

Pick an instrumental, felt the need to vent

I was the shit even when I didn't have a cent

To my name

And pockets were full of lent

Grinding for days, yep time well spent

Now I'm colder than a vent in the middle of the summer

Hoes were stone cold, used to hit me with a stunner

Labeled me a scrub as I wrote down my number

Now they on some other shit, luckily I ain't a plumber

Bees start to buzz when they see you bout to blossom

Fore I was hot, told me fall back like autumn

Flashback on a tragic day, way before the streets ever once called me Zay

Think I was ten maybe elven

It was a late night probably close to seven

Staring death in the eyes, headed to heaven

Barrel of the gun pointed in my direction

Calm as hell stood in front of it trying to calm you down

Said if you shoot I may get hit now

Yelled get back in the car

Seen the steam blowing up out of your ears

Years later letting you down and death are two of my biggest fears

Staring in the mirror like how did I get here

How did I get here

How the hell did I get here

Sometimes I just sit and reminisce

Hoping tomorrow is better than this

Asking why like my name was Jadakiss

Caught in my ways

Busy as hell

Mayne I really need to pray