Meditation, Pt. 5 Lyrics

Meditation, Pt. 5 - Kieran the Light

...

(I just wanna rock you)

(All night long, oh, I wanna rock you)

(I just wanna rock you)

(All night long, oh)

Isolate the spirit from the flesh 'cause I get too impatient

'Cause You been patient all the years that I ain't knew Your language

I put the ink to the paper like it's the Declaration

Mental health feelin' shaky, but I'm still elevatin', yeah

I get wiser while I wait, but I hate it

'Cause every day I think it's near and wonder why I'm still waitin'

I tell myself that I got faith and I won't let nothin' shake it

But it's hard to duck the demons every day, tryna' take it, I'm still saying'

I don't need no mеdication

I just need some meditation

Still remеmber when I was workin' at Salt Grass

Waitin' tables for tips just hopin' that they would all last

Felt like every coworker hated me, it was all bad

Got off every night hopin' that I get in a car crash

Make it home alive and try to find me some space

And tell myself nobody like me, why am I this way?

Blamin' everybody else for every single mistake

I used to really wanna pray but I ain't know what to say

I used to race home to Kayla every night not even thinking'

All I made was fifty dollars tonight, but I'm still drinking'

We smokin', I'm loaded, life's good, we rolling'

At least that's what I told myself just in the moment

Can't even pay the rent, now I'm stressin', I feel hopeless

Hopin' nobody notice, prayin' a door opens

Textin' other females, hopin' for a distraction

Sexin' other females, lookin' for satisfaction

She don't even know everything that actually happen

Ain't really wanna cheat, I just needed some interaction

I would just gaslight every time we would argue

Many times it get physical, she would be like "Who are you?"

I wish I coulda just let it go but it was too hard to

I pushed her away and we never became cordial

Life was in a frenzy, started talkin' to Lindsey

I wonder if I loved her really, I felt empty

I was so attached to thinkin' that she could heal me

But every time I messed up, felt like she would condemn me

Turn around and forgive me, we were just movin' backwards

I just couldn't deal with all the family attachments

Back and forth wit' exes, I ain't know how to manage

Makin' me look like I was crazy, I was embarrassed

I think we overdated, then everything started fading'

Could have finally got the healing I needed but I'm impatient

After everything was finished I probably should have waited

But if it wasn't for Leia, I don't know if I woulda made it

Anger got the best of me, fightin' with all my relatives

Depression got me trippin', I can't believe what I said to them

Lyin' 'bout my life just to look like I was ahead of them

Pretending I got money, my bank account in the negatives

Damn, but I'm in the club ballin'

Actually feeling' guilty, I keep hearings God calling

I needed to repent but every day I was stalling

Procrastinating' prayer so every day I was falling

Sulking' in my insecurities, I was too stressed

Comparing' that to my life now, I just feel too blessed

They send me old pictures, I hate it when people do that

It's hard to see the memories when I'm tryin' to redo that

Stop tryna' renew that, that's the way to get cut off

It took too long to get these demons to finally run off

Stop readin' my Bible, I need to go wipe the dust off

Probably the reason why I can't keep the stains of this lust off

Jesus, now that was a bar

God said He would change me, ain't think He'd take it this far

All the places I was settlin' now are lookin' irrelevant

The struggles that the devil sent turned me to somethin' heavensent

Ooh, now that was the Spirit

Used to not know where it was, but now I finally could hear it

I used to try to ignore it and now I finally go near it

Because I no longer fear it, I think I finally know Kieran

I can arrive now, even throughout all of my motives

He heard me cryin' out, look at all the music we know of

It's all dying' now, look at all the fruit, how it's growing'

It's my time now, I'm the Light Child, yeah

(I just wanna rock you)

(All night long, oh, I wanna rock you)

(I just wanna rock you)

(All night long)