nature nurture make her hurt her Lyrics

There's a place that I go

Where nobody can find me

Nothing to feel and nothing to see

But the glow of the bottle held up to the light

And the sting of relapsing on a Friday night

I should be on the town

With the rest of my friends

But I'm nursing my spite and my loathing again

Everclear, my dear, oh how I've missed you

There's a voice in my ear telling me it's an issue

I know how it goes

Yes, I'm aware, I made a mess

Blowing out my sutures

Enough about my alcoholic past

Let's discuss my alcoholic future

It feels so normal

And that's why I'm scared

Was it you? Was it me? What the fuck, who cares

I'll save the dissection of all of my flaws

For the day that I step into therapy's jaws

At the end of the day

I got nothin' to blame

But my selfish desire to feel okay

I know it's unhealthy, but what can I do

I'd rather not think than think about you

Yes, I'm aware, I made a mess

Blowing out my sutures

Enough about my alcoholic past

Let's discuss my alcoholic future

Did I get it from my mother

Or did I get it from my friends

None of that will matter when I'm dead

I promised you the world

But all you got was me

Just a stupid little girl

Trying to sabotage her body

Tonight I let me down

Just like I always have

Swear I'll make these feelings drown

Swear I'll split this fucking scab

It doesn't really matter

How many sober years I broke

When you're up there ogling at her

And all I can do is hope

I'm hurtling to my twenties

Is it really a surprise

Take a good look at me, honey

Am I having a good time

Little miss slack-jawed schism

For a while we thought you really had it

I never struggled with alcoholism

In fact, I think I was pretty good at it

I don't have a drinking problem

I'd call it a drinking solution

I feel fine when it's over

I just fuck up the execution

Does it matter how I got there

If they like me when I'm done

There's nothing wrong with having just a bit of college fun