crashing Lyrics

I've spent a long time running

Building up hopes so my thoughts stop budging

I've felt cut out of a life I was loving

If I can't see straight I won't see nothing

I don't get why I ain't adjusting

It's hard to tell if these days i'm bluffing

Thought it wouldn't be bad, but I just outdid it

Not a damn hope left so it's just good riddance

Cause I haven't felt like myself

Questioning life, is it good for my health?

I thought a bullet to the head would feel okay

If I took my own life I'd put my friends in shame

Yeah I know life's hard but I say it's fine

I really need somebody's help this time

If I can't steer straight then I might drift off

I just wanna be happy but I guess i'm not

Yeah it's been a long minute

I'd say how I feel, but it's hard to admit it

Cause there's no damn way I'd call this living

When the knife in my back just keeps on digging

I don't know why it's hard to escape

Am I insane to think you'll tell me that you're ready to change?

I'm searching through our memories, and there ain't nothing to save

So if I give up what we have would that rid the pain?

Yeah am I hard on myself?

Every time you get upset you turn to somebody else

And even though you think i'm worthless I know I could've helped

Was leaving me alone and hopeless just a part of your spell?

It's like a part of me is thinking that I'm going insane

There ain't a remedy to cure a fucking ounce of the pain

I guess losing what we had was just a part of your game

And even after all this time you still have nothing to say

I am not focused, yeah I am broken

Thinking bout shit you left unspoken

Staying on track thats part of the motion

Tryna stay afloat six deep in the ocean

Thats devotion

That's what's grossing

Tryna blame me for being more open

These days I can't tell who's joking

Know if I'm gone that's what you're hoping

Yeah it starts with a text

Then it moves to the next

You must've forgot your passion

I thought you were the best

No way i'd attest

Cause it ain't my brand of fashion

Just imagine if this had gone down exactly how you planned

Then you'd be happy on your own, and I could be a better man

I step through the ashes

Of all the blind pain and sadness

When you call me I don't pick up

Cause I only make time for my dreams and passions

Yeah I know that we could've lasted

I'm sorry that didn't really happen

But at least you came out happy

At the moment I'm still crashing

Yeah cause I can't look you in the face when I see the way you burnt my pride

And I know that all of these fears are the reason why I'm thinking bout

How I could be so blind

For the way you talk to me

Were you wrong for me?

I know you couldn't give your all for me

Every night I hear you call for me

I just wish I didn't give you all of me

I'm not down with the sickness

Mind is the witness

Maybe I thought we'd go the distance

Begged for the simplest things

Yeah we both know you never even knew my interests

That's the difference

You kept switching up your mind till you were twisted

Maybe this could work in time but I know you'll just throw me in the dirt

Yeah in the dirt

Yeah, yeah, aye

I see you switching up your mind so this could work

No this won't work

It'll never work

Yeah