The Story of My Birthday (2023 Version) Lyrics

It all started when big government didn't know just who to tax

So they had to take a trip to Dad's hometown

Just how far along she was depends on who you ask

So they loaded up the mule and they were Bethlehem bound

The trip was uneventful till the light began to fade

They had no reservations so they had no place to stay

Then Mom said "My water broke" and the desk clerk was alarmed

He said "I'll think of something - you can wait out in the barn"

Every year my mom tells me the story of my birthday

Every year I wonder how it went so wrong

The kind of story that reminds me of a John Hughes movie

And I think that someone ought to write a song

The details of the birth are kind of sketchy

It happened pretty fast is what they say

Right away, the unexpected guests began arriving

Dad was just too tired to think of sending them away.

First, there were some shepherds - their tale was dubious, at best

But no one had the nerve to call them liars

They claimed that they were out there in their field

But couldn't get no rest

Something 'bout a real bright star and pesky angel choirs

Every year my mom tells me the story of my birthday

And every year I'm really quite amazed

I sure caused some excitement when I was a little baby

Maybe someone will write a book about it someday

Then there was this troublemaking teen who brought a drum

At three a.m., no one wants to hear

Arumpa pum pum pum pum

Mom was pretty angry but, of course, she wouldn't say

Dad just broke his sticks and chased that little punk away

Finally, there were kings!

That's what they claimed and who's to know?

They said they saw that star and it had showed them where to go

When they arrived, my mom said that it sure caused quite a stir

The gold was nice, but what the heck is frankincense and myrrh?

In the end, I guess we didn't stay in Bethlehem for long

We had to go to Egypt - we heard things could soon go wrong

Those kings, they told a crazy story - this is what they said

Some wacked-out King in Israel

Put put a bounty on my head!

Every year my mom tells me the story of my birthday

And every year I'm really quite amazed

I sure cause some excitement when I was a little baby

Maybe someone will write a book about it someday