Someday (I'll Be Better Than You) Lyrics

While Sitting in a tavern drinking beer with all my friends

Listenin' to the troubles in their lives

All their bitchin', belly achin' as to how they'd been forsaken

By their bosses and their children and their wives

And all of their complainin' just got to be so drainin'

I couldn't even finish up my brew

So I made a vow right then and there and what it took I didn't care

I knew exactly what I's gonna do

I said Someday I'll be happy

Someday I'll be rich

Someday I'll have a lucrative career

Someday I'll cruise down Main Street in a big 'ol Cadillac

While all of you are cryin' in your beer

Someday I'll eat filet mignon while you're all eatin' crow

Someday I'll get to tell you what to do

Someday I'll be better than you

So I pissed away my 20's kissin' ass and droppin' names

Steppin' on and stabbin' backs along the way

In suit and tie, I scrutinized, assessed the threats and screwed the guys

Who threw the dice, but couldn't play the game

But when I finally won the race and got the private parking space

The office in the corner with the great big wooden desk

The friendless emptiness and executive stress

Was yankin' on that tie around my neck

And I said Someday I'll be Happy

Someday I'll find peace

Someday I'll reach enlightenment

And leave you in the grease

Someday I'll be wide awake

While you're all fast asleep

Someday I'll be a lion

Living among sheep

Someday I learn the secret

And I ain't gonna tell you shit

Someday I'm gonna find the truth

Yeah, someday I'll be better than you

And so I maxed out all my credit cards on Tony Robbins seminars

I went to every workshop I could find

Learned NLP and EFT and every kind of therapy

Meditated til I made my third eye blind

But when I found my time line where I met my inner child

I was stunned when he looked at me and spoke

He said "Man, what the hell is wrong with you?

That guru's hippie voodoo he do

Only sure to help you wind up broke!"

So I said someday I'll be happy

Someday I'll find God

And when I do, the rest of you can suck my holy rod

Someday I'll be a righteous, sanctimonious, sonofabitch

Someday I'll see the way, the light

And leave you in the pitch

Someday I'll be a bible thumping, Jesus Humpin' speakin' toungues

Yeah someday I'm gonna walk with you know who

Someday I'll be better than you

And now I'm old and all alone

With cataracts and aching bones

Praying to be taken to the other side

Alone in all my misery, nobody here to sit with me

And every night, I can't help but wonder why

And I get this funny feeling, while I'm starin' at the ceiling

That perhaps I didn't live my life so well

But I'll be ok, on judgement day, when Jesus come take me away

And all of you are burnin' in hell

That's right, someday I'll be happy

Someday I'll be dead

I'll rise on up to heaven on the day I shit the bed

And I'll no longer be alone, I'll sit beside the fathers thone

And all of my transgressions will pass to you instead

And from my mansion in the clouds me and Jesus will be lookin down

Laughin', laughin' at all of you!

Yeah Someday I'll be Better Than You

Someday I'll be Better Than You

Someday I'll be Better Than You