Merch Lyrics

Hey there, it's your boy Ren Swanson

How y'all doin'?

Listen, I'm here to tell you about the newest hit single, Merch

So why don't y'all give it a listen

All I sell is merch, merch, merch, I tell you what

Never can sell anything like this quite as much

Dollar 95, hundred thirty-three, ain't no bassist

Who can sell this merch like me

I used to play the bass, I thought I was a slayer

But look at me now, I'm a different kind of player

All you sons of bitches used to think you really knew me

Until you heard about how, yeah, your girlfriend blew me

It ain't the way I sing or the way I slay guitar

It's all about the merch, yeah, you know it takes me far

You could buy a beanie, or you could get a shirt

You could get whatever, how could it even hurt

You know this merch is real, you know I ain't a phony

So just go buy the shoes, and give me all your money

I can't promise it's all quality, and you should know

But your current swag make you look like comedy

And so just buy the merch, what could it really hurt?

It ain't a hundred dollar polo skirt or a shirt

So just buy the merch, go and buy the merch

Merch, merch, yeah, merch

All I sell is merch, merch, merch. I tell you what

Never can sell anything like this quite as much

Dollar ninety-five, hundred thirty-three

Ain't no bassist who can sell this merch like me

I tell you what though

This merch is some of the best shit you're ever gonna see

Come on now, we getting real here in a real second

Come on kids

The merch is real and the pay is fat

You could buy a bean-bag cushion or a Pusheen Cat

All this merch is clean and sick like that

Ain't no other YouTube bitch who can make these stacks

So go buy this shit and buy it fast

You know you can't resist when I make this cash

To all of the fans who can't afford this crap

Go get a job, this ain't a booby trap

All I sell is merch, merch, merch

All I sell is merch, merch, merch

All I sell is merch, merch, merch

All I sell is merch

Yeah, merch

All I sell is merch, merch, merch

It's a blue light. What does it do? It turns blue

Merch

All I sell is merch, merch, merch

I tell you what, ain't nobody who can sell merch like me

All I sell is merch, merch, merch

So just go buy the merch

Yeah, merch