When I Was A Kid Lyrics

Kick it up a lil higher

Big Homie

When I was a kid

Yeah

Jump in

I was just a little boy when I saw my momma get the beat down

Slapped around by a nigga, knocked her teeth out

But when that man had came after me, momma grabbed a blade and pounced

Told me not to make a sound

When she reached out to nail his jugular vein

The man swung and made sure

That she'd never see straight again

And when he turned back to look at me? I tried to run

Man I really wish momma kept a gun in this house

Or that I'd have what it takes in a man

To get a Glock and shoot his ass down

I had to act like everything was peachy keen

Knowing damn well I'd get got

If the cribs' wasn't squeaky clean

And yeah I know it wasn't my fault

But tell that to the boy who's mom was down for the count

Everyone was quick to tell me not to grow up so fast

But they ain't know how it was when I was a kid, man

Fast forward 2012, my cousin's giving em' hell

We're playing COD and we're kicking ass

In the top 10, we're mad dogs, we're breaking off our leash

And I thought I had finally found some fucking peace

Till I saw that peace fly out his goddamn pocket

He made me think I was crazy, said I ain't seen nothing

But I saw it and I knew ain't shit was getting better

The eye of the storm calls for awful weather

So I tore the house apart

I would've searched the ends of the earth

To find some confirmation

Instead, I let the rage fester

So when my momma told me it's all in my head, I tried to drop the ball

But then I found that she's hiding something

Yvonne was doing drugs and my cuz' was selling for her

Giving up the drugs she needed as her mind and body suffered

I stood over top of my mom, as she took her last breath

Any other kid would cry but I had to have a level head

That's what my cousin said, it pushed me over the edge

It filled my mind with regret and now I'm stuck

This shit ain't fine or dandy

I wanna pop somebody like their last names ghadaffi

And yeah I know it wasn't my fault

But tell that to the boy whose heart had just been shot

Everyone was quick to tell me not to grow up so fast

I wish they knew how it was when I was a kid, man

And now we're back to 2020, I wish I'd never seen twenty

I sit back and think about all the obscenity that I was forced to face

It makes me wanna fade away

If we're talking bout the shit I'm going through, I can rhyme it all day and night

My minds a constant vibe

B.I.G. was ready to die and now so am I

Cause all y'all complain when you step into the cold

But you speak to the people that have never been warm

All day long, I hear people talking this shit and that shit

It drives my mind insane and leads me deep into madness

I second guess myself now more than I'd like to admit

A little confidence? I wish I could say I had it

And despite how it was for me growing up, I showed up

No matter who was making the call

Cause my heart's still strong and I'm still a human

So repeat after me, and join this revolution

One day you're gonna shine, your future's fucking bright

Everything that I've said? Take that, internalize it to the core

Don't be afraid to toot your own horn

The best day of your life was when you were born

And it's hard to see now but I know it wasn't my fault

I'll say that to myself until I know it's not my fault

I had to be a man in a young boy's body

And know you know how it was when I was a kid, you got me?

(Feel me, son?)