Gregorian Diss Chant Lyrics

The monastic music community has been reeling

Since Brother Godfrey released a Gregorian diss chant

Airing beef with rival monk, Brother Bertram

Today, in a satanically fast turnaround

Our prayers have been answered

Brother Bertram has released a counter diss chant

May God have mercy on Brother Godfrey's soul

Thy holy verses are so pathetic

But thy sinfulness is more disgusting

I'm out here getting canonized, brother

Whilst thou art with the youth lusting

Thou shouldst take a long vow of silence

For thine ghost lyrics hint of ox dung

Ye must believe in math and science

For holy words ne'er leave thy tongue

Thou couldn't tell a hymn from Him

Or hear the voice of our almighty Lord

And in His name, I'll cut thee limb from limb

With my blesséd Gregorian broadsword

God shines on me, a true follower

He holds thee not in such high favour

So, please hang thy Blood of Christ habit on the shelf

If thou beeth a goode neighbour

Thou shalt ne'er obtain His amnesty

Ten Hail Mary's can't grant you absolution

Beause I caught thee spying on Brother Browne

Naked during his morning ablution. Ha Ha

I be daily prayin', you must be daily playin

For thy grasp of scripture is a joke

My fam'ly dineth nightly with the Pope

Thine must eat cold turnips 'cause you can't take the smoke

Hope you don't choke

Amen