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  • Genre:Spoken Word
  • Year of Release:2023

Lyrics

I wanted it to be you


From the first Hello you ever sent

And the kilig I got from reading it

From my bewilderment creeping up to my mind to the

Preprogrammed suspicion of what you wanted from me

How did this beautiful human spring from his cradle

Only to find me interesting enough

To exchange pleasantries with?

Ridiculous

But you made it so easy


In no time, we were exchanging more than pleasantries

And photos of our routines on the daily

Teas in the mornings, calls on lunchbreaks, and seemingly

Endless grins at evenings

I decided I'd let you catch me with my guard down

And break the walls

I've been building for the last 13 months

What's the use of walls if instead

Of enemies, you block out your happiness?

And you asked if you could meet me

And I did


I remember waiting by the road across your office

In a scorching midday

"I'm right in front of you," you texted

I looked up and there you were, holding your phone up

Capturing my insecure posture

Walking the pedestrian lane towards you

And right about when I got to you, I saw clouds of dreams float

Right above your umbrella

And the butterflies in my stomach

Began to fly when you whispered

"Hey, there. Nice to meet you." The sun ray hitting your face

Showing off your incredible smile was a sight to behold

And I've sworn to keep that snapshot in my mind since then


Carrying my satchel, you took me to your workplace

And to my surprise, in the rarest of circumstances, I was in deep awe

As you introduced me to everyone

Eyes glowing, all inviting

I still wonder to this day what could you have told them

That made them like me

I then saw myself sitting like a child on the corner

Waiting for you to finish paperwork

Glancing at me from time to time smiling

As I try out my Polaroid on you

I knew right there I'd only rather spend all my films on you


I spaced out and wondered maybe it could be you


Next thing I knew, we were at the hotel submerged

In chlorinated pool water four hours later

I didn't tell you this but I was so insecure and fearful at the time

It was the first time I dipped with someone, let alone

The fact we had the whole place for ourselves

But with the bright moon and the sapphire sky as our backdrop

Everything was perfect


Next thing I knew, we were back in our room

I didn't know what came to us that night

But we managed to wreck the shower curtain

And ruin the secret drawer in the bedframe

Laughing out loud as we tried them all to piece back together


Next thing I knew, We were running up the stairs to the rooftop

With the "Restricted" sign cautioning on the rusty metal door

I didn't know what was on my mind at the time

But when you said

"I told you I'm a fucking rule breaker," I followed your lead

Like a sheep guided by a lone wolf


Next thing I knew, we were looking at the vastness of the city

The shadows of street alleys

Kissing the floating streetlamps

The occasional impatient horn honking

The annoying motorcycles screeching as they sped up jubilantly

With the retirement of cops for the night

The bridge stretching its arms adorned by a thousand lightbulbs

And the gulf calmly peeking at us from the east – it was as if

We were looking at its canvas with our very soul

Amidst the haunting silence of the night

And we just stayed there, staring silently

Into the night for ten minutes

Until you said under your breath

"I wish every evening will be like this." I looked at you

And how your deep brown eyes fixed on the lit-up bridge

You continued, "I wish every night could be this calm, this carefree

Like you're just able to breathe

Without worrying." We were two fools of a mess

Trying so hard to get out of it

In search of happiness, we ended getting caught up with it

Knee deep, we were oh so terrified of the quicksand

And surrendered in no time

Not knowing we were just three feet away from holding ground

And I keep hunting for signifiers that made

The fall of my last defense inevitable

But they haunt me back with flashbacks just as hard hitting

Creeping like the million Polaroids still living underneath my bed

Trying to crawl out with the imprints of you


But I always wondered what if we tried

Maybe then I'd get to see the world more

In your point of view, no matter how bleak it may be

Maybe then I'd get to welcome your birthday

With you too, no matter how somber

Maybe then we would hang these Polaroids of us

In Christmas lights in my room

Instead of them withering away slowly in a box

Gathering nothing but dust

Because I'd really like to be spending

Ten thousand nights listening to you

As we slowly slip in deeper conversations

And end them with laughter

Because I'd really just like to wake up

To your cooked corned beef bread

Rather than any continental breakfasts or whatnots

Because I'd really like to just hold on to your hand

Rather than these Polaroid ashes I refuse to bury

Because I'd really like to look at you

Through your dark brown eyes once again

Rather than draining my time looking

Through these screens as I linger in your photos

And I'd like to think that we could begin again


No matter what

No matter how

So, if in another lifetime or in a parallel universe, you see me

Crossing the road

Opposite your office one July noon

Kindly offer me your umbrella one more time

Kindly wait for me on the other side of the busy road

Kindly not lose the fragments of memories and emotions

No matter how miniscule they may be

As they are the ones that'll lead you back to me

Until then, I could only hope you'd still feel the same way

Sound the same way

Smile the same way

As you say, "Nice to meet you." Because

It was really fucking nice to meet you

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