new age Lyrics

Live a life of regret

Heart pains in my chest

I hope i pull the trigger

I accept nothing less

My mind is a mess

To the rest i confess

To the future generation

Please don't become obsessed

You live a life of corruption

Man you gotta be stressed

Please don't suppress

All the feelings ingest

If you hold them down to long

They might come to protest

Theres another person in me

Man i'm feeling possessed

I dream to be dead

To blow off my head

Spit dye black and blonde

All matted in red

Wrists cut up to shreds

Thighs covered in threads

I see my future ahead

I'm shot on my bed

Anytime i tend to think about it

I refuse it instead

And i make up an excuse

Man i'm living in dread

Lived a life of abuse

I ain't talking no booze

I'm talking narcissistic father

With a hand like zeus

Motherfucker made a child consider a noose

And if he found out he was gay

There would be more than a bruise

Held my mama while she cried

When they got into a fight

Found pictures on his phone

Of his future next wife

I looked him in his eyes

And said tonight is the night

My mom packed her shit

And booked her next flight

But i'm still here getting tortured by mike

He grab me by my neck

And said "i'm in the right"

Don't you ever ever

Say you've been through this abuse

I would walk through every single hell

To get away from his use

It's an understatement to say i am mentally ill

Because of that man i learned a little skill

Went numb

Went dumb

And i never said a word

Never had any friends

That i didn't eventually hurt

Went mute

Felt tune

And i hid my emotions

6 Years later

Everything is exploding

6 Years later and i'm sitting on my bed

Gun in my mouth

I can really taste the lead

My finger grazed the trigger

And put a hole in my head

Brain scatters

Blood matter

And my lungs try gasping

Is this the end

Is this really fucking happening?

Black black

The void

An abyss

Existential darkness

Is my ignorant bliss

Complete solid solitude

All to myself

Everything is quiet for once in this hell.