Withdrawal ft. Pheeny and His Inner Demons Lyrics

I'm only lucid when I'm off the wagon

When I'm sober, I'm a wreck the likes of which you can't imagine

Proper function's overrated

Just keep me medicated

It's in everyone's best interest if I'm constantly sedated

I'm just so solipsistic

It's all about me

But when it comes to your bullshit

I'm just all out of steam, so

Pin me as soft, don't give me a thought

Just get me a shot

To throw my fucking equilibrium off

A fifth of the scotch

To get me feeling giddy, then watch

As I unravel, yeah, I dabble in self-pity a lot

I'm limp and distraught

I measured up to diddly squat

Igneous arteries

This heart is an obsidian blob

To those who claim they knew me: we were never really close at all

I hide inside myself, I'm like a living matryoshka doll

Plus, most of y'all revising my obit. like I'm supposed to fall

My time of death and Earth's final breath gonna be too close to call

One day I'll scale the other side of this wall

If only I can withstand the withdrawal

Dodge every obstacle and conquer every pitfall

If only I can withstand the withdrawal

My honest attempts at optimism have gotten strenuous

My entire bright side comes off as disingenuous

It's not my fault, I've been like this

Since you were rocking pencil grips and had a bookbag with the power rangers stenciled into it

I'm on that instrumental tip

Won't falter till my mental slips or intuition tells me y'all moved on, till then, I'm killing shit

Still at first you're just a person bad at blending

Then you watch as all your friendships spin from dwindling to ending

You think of all the cries for help a click away from sending

Is your unrelenting sense of disengagement worth defending

The comfort zone's an unfamiliar place I'll never go

I'm never known to be the dude who keeps up with the ebb and flow

I'm often left to catch my heavy, fretting breaths in paper bags

My mind's a hectic mess, I'm an electric vest in laser tag

I pace in circles through the house and waste entire days

My dreams are pretty little pictures painted in a tired haze

One day I'll scale the other side of this wall

If only I can withstand the withdrawal

Dodge every obstacle and conquer every pitfall

If only I can withstand the withdrawal

Feels like I'm stuck in the rut

Life's been kicking my butt

Sickening thoughts leave my mind corrupt

Bickering voices well, they always interrupt

A flicker of success we'll I'm always on the cusp

Of fucking it all up

When I was young I was obsessed

A touch of morbid curiosity

You are what you eat

That was always my philosophy

Half man and half drugs

Neurotic monstrosity

Narcotics from my plug

Got me falling with velocity

Get off me shit I don't need ya help

I'm fucking fine please just leave me by myself

I shoulda remained quiet

Waited for the coup de grace

Instead I opened my mouth

And a demons what's I've become

I'm still cold leaving listeners stunned

And rappers sunned

I summed up my worth with a verse

But still feel like I'm shunned

And sometimes it might feel like too much to take

I may bend but never break, can't be bought

Not on the take

But I hope on tape and decimate

the beat rots and disintegrates

And all that's left are these feelings of withdrawal

And innate need to be great

And this unmitigated gall

Contempt is all

That I have left for the rest of y'all

Cause you want me to be a leader

You want me to save the world

I'm still trying to save the cheerleader

My emotions unfurl

And this devil a deceiver

Hurdles always placed within my path

The good times they never last

It's like I'm a turtle and everyone else is moving way too fast

But you can't outrun your past

So you can run as many laps as you can

But then time always time gets the last laugh

If I can speak candidly, life's a pain in the ass

They want me to ball out

I'm too busy falling out

With my friends and family

Can't you see I'm calling out

But I'm running short on oxygen

They too busy gossiping

Is anybody buying what I'm offering

Slaughtering and groveling

Clobbering these goblins

Who too fucking concerned about all they fuckin' followings

But I'm alone and lucid so I guess I'm all I got

Call Me Jupiter, cause I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop

One day I'll scale the other side of this wall

If only I can withstand the withdrawal

Dodge every obstacle and conquer every pitfall

If only I can withstand the withdrawal