Regrets Lyrics

I'm tossing n turning

My thoughts has just worsen

Everyday I'm acting tough

Put a mask how I fronting

Yet inside the mind

My coldest eyes

I'm really the softest

Past the seven years

Of my career

The fuck even happened

Was it trauma I grew up with

Bullied from first to fifth

Remembering just made me nauseous

How they push n pull

Like my workouts in the morning

Want to let it go

But my brain got enough storage

Play it back when I relax

Sleeping in

Alarm clocks don't wake me anymore

Too much melatonin

Cup of Joe don't wake me anymore

Got a lot of deep regrets

The only ones when I'm in bed

How did I fell in love

Was it I who fucked it up

It's a long story

Met her when I transferred

Welcome me I thanked her

Never left my mind

She had stuck with me

Fantasize a bit

But I stopped it

Devil working me

Want it to be love

Not for lust

Don't twist my vision please

We were both very different

I was nerd n music driven

She was books n mad religious

I was like the fuck I'm doing

Near the drugs my homies smoking

Almost got myself influenced

My soberness only last

Grade 8 when I smoked some hash

I wasn't soul searching

Way too busy school learning

Had it in my mind for while

Told myself a lie

I got plenty time

Wish my expectations weren't so high

A lot of lessons starting freshman

Matured over time

(Static)

"Care for me" my friend has message

Diagnosed severe depression

Pray to God to lend my blessings

For my friend is most important

In the world

Been together when we like 10 years old

Lion dancing shows

Several years called him my big bro

He fought and struggled on the daily

Waiting on my phone for his texts I was ready

Playing games chat away from heavy thoughts

Busy mentally

I ponder if I helped

Way too busy shooting enemies

Sophomore year he hospitalized

Took some pills n shots of wine

Regret I didn't to see him but I didn't have a car to drive

Too busy studying for my classes homework take a while

Varsity wrestling made me starve to cut the weigh to fight

Pressure began to piling up

He got discharged but didn't talk

End up by myself

Needed help

Who the fuck would come

I was independent

Ain't dependent

With the friends I love

Acting calm collected

Hella stressing

What I really was

I'm home with tears in my eyes

Realized I was a hopeless fool

Thinking bout the time my friends and I

Hanging out of school

I sit there listening

Thinking about their topic

Try hop in but get neglected

Feel like a ghost in their presence

I'm like

The fuck is my purpose

I'm feeling so worthless

Can't maintain my GPA

Despite in honors for courses

Parents still working

Pressure still cooking

My base was breaking down

Everything was crumbling

My motivation dwindling

I started giving up

Woke up feeling out of touch

Everyday drive myself away to the Capron Park

Contemplate should I die today wonder who will call

Phone can ring all this silence bring more than what I want

I said Fuck it

Remember the girl that I mention

Spent a few days chatting gathering enough courage

End up told she was taken

How my heart of was so broken

I hold this feeling while working

Push it back how it surface

Fuck this world

I'm sorry if I wasn't enough

To everyone that I know I'ma miss you a lot

In reverse it won't be true

End up in the morning news

How many will care for me

Once this bullet goes through