TESTIFY Lyrics

Here am I again

Dealing with these emotions and his inner voice

But I refuse to be depressed I refused to be confused

Lord, I rebuke any spirit that is not of you

Sometimes I just need to vent

Thank you for listening

Lord, I just wanna serve you

But the truth is I know that I don't deserve you

Every night I think about the sacrifices you mad

The debt that you paid so I can be saved

That's why I give you all praise,

If they put me in that grave, then I probably would've stayed

I talk about all of the ways that you made

And all the mountains you moved, and all the grace that you gave

HEY

Remember, when I was hustling Boston

I stopped selling dope; me and the homie stopped talking

I still love him, I still love him, I swear I do

I just wanna show him that money just don't compare to you

He won't get it, and I understand it

It's hard to hear when your whole life has been underhanded

When you show your people love and they take you for granted

You give the truth and they just twist and slant it

You feel abandoned

I know

Sometimes I sit inside my office

Crying like baby, counting all my losses

I gotta daughter that I barely even know

She's already 17

I barely got to see her grow

The funny thing is I'm the one who named her

Folks got between us and now it's hard to change her

I can't visit cause she only shows me anger

If I get her on the phone, then she treats me like a stranger

But look

I can't even blame her

Every week there's a new person filling her brain up

Everything that I say or do just seems to shame her

I can't be her daddy if I'm not allowed to train her

Up

Frustrating to think about it

I gave it back to God

I started to drink about it

I put my trust in Him and know that it will get better

One day we'll be back together, it can't stay this way forever

Just watch

It's hard to be a man of God and keep it rea

It's hard to be a man and speak how you feel

They don't receive us the same, we can speak it from the heart

They don't believe us the same

And they wonder why I bury all this pain

If I tell em how I feel, they gone' say that I'm insane

If they knew I put this pistol to brain, they might lock me out the church

And say I'm living in vain (mang)

I tried talking to mama, she's 70 plus, still dealing with her trauma

Of a childhood she never got live

By the age of 30 she was on her 7th kid (that' me)

And I know she couldn't stand me

I was fighting for her love

But she was fighting for Stanley

It explains my dysfunctional family

This internal feeling that they don't understand me

But you do God, and I know you do

Cause even when I miss the mark you keep coming through

Hallelu

I kick some knowledge and they I'm showboating

It's hard to show some people love when their hate potent

I'm not the Christian that I could be

Yes, I'm a husband, but I wonder if I should be

Can you imagine trying to live a Christian life

When the enemy can show up in the one you call your wife

Every night it feels like another fight

Satan shows you so much dark

That it's hard to see the light

You psychoanalyze everything that you do

They want you to question everything that you know to be true

Not me

I won't waiver for a neighbor, for my wife, or my children

Not for love or a hater – not me

I'm gone stand on this Word

Either stand by side, or you can stand at the curb

Some say I ain't Godly because I blitz a little

Sometimes I get angry; sometimes it's for shitz-n-giggles

I've been told that my ministry's done

Never caught the Holy Ghost; never spoke in any tongues

I just deliver the Word as it comes to me

I just live out His work as it runs through me

Lord I need a different path

Cause no matter what I do

Satan's always on my awwwwwww

I got the world on my shoulders

I never show the pain so that world wouldn't know it

Only if they knew how much I cried

I sent the group text and only God replied

So, when it's time to ride, then I ride

I came to spread the Word and will not be denied

Salute to all my folk who tried and even died

Just remember the ONE that was crucified

Testify