Deep End // myguardianangel Lyrics

(So... Cleo, is it?

Good evening, I'm Mr. B

I'll be your therapist for the time being

So during my sessions I like to have the patient talk for

As long as they need to while I just sit here and listen

So, Cleo, what's been on your mind lately?)

There's so many questions where all the answers are mysteries

Lately I've been looking back through all my past and my history

Way before S- and all those times

I cried sittin' on my porch listening to "This Side of Paradise"

Way before the time I tried to use my knife

Because I thought it'd be the easy way out

Thank god I wasn't right

And way before the time that I was scared to fight my inner thoughts

So I spent every night letting them roam, I'm fine now

I feel like life is slowly getting better

I figured out my therapy is songwriting

Each letter that I type I feel isn't right sometimes

4am I still write sometimes (While having episodes)

I got some people in my circle, the ones that are cheering me on

They want what's best for me

How can they stand by and watch me write these depressing ass songs?

My heart's ticking time bomb, if it gets shattered again

I'm gone for good this time

No further questions at this time

(Well, from what I've just heard

I can tell you have just recovered from an extremely low period in your life

And things are slowly starting to get better for you

Which is amazing, I am very proud of you

While we still have time, is there anything else you would like to speak about?)

I tend not to love no one no more

I guess my heart's too broke to pour my feelings out, been there before

And what makes it worse is

That 90 percent of the trauma in my life is through heartbreak

And that heartbreak caused me to lose myself

I don't wanna take one step back in my life anymore

I've gotten to a point where I just wanna move towards my goals

And not have love put me in a deeper hole

That's why most days I just shut myself away

And write my pain to the sad samples that I find

You see, that's the grind because puttin' my words out there is my therapy

They say music connects and I don't wanna live with regrets

To the point where I pack up my bags in distress

And move all the way to the west coast

The place that I called home

Life in Michigan sucks and I don't think that I wanna be here much longer

Although I'm 14, I still go through this pain and I feel it's inhumane

Gotta realize that life will never be the same

But ever since '19 I had a feeling that I'll never be able to chase my dream

We had just moved out of my house lost everything

3 Years ago was crazy

(Wow, that was... alot to unpack, to say the least

I thought you had just recovered from your low point

That you previously mentioned?

But I do agree with you on one thing

Love is a very hard concept to understand)

My guardian Angel, I'll be back for you

Know I've already said this once

Now I'm not in the mood to write right now, so I'm only gonna say this once

I vowed to myself to never find love again, but thus, here we are

Come sit with me in Grand Haven and look up at the stars

While being in my arms tonight

And not to get bold or nothin', but I feel like you and I could have somethin'

Highschool's 'boutta have our time simmered down

So let's have our fun while we have the time because summer's a limited time

And I'd spend every dime that I have just to make you the happiest, dead or alive

And I know I tend to get ahead of myself

But sometimes I can't imagine me with anyone else

All the things that I said August 1st I played off as a joke but to me it's real

It's just you and I, two of us 'till the day we die, no amethyst

(And I would only trade you for my place in the sky)

I remember 8th grade in the nightshade in the back of the 405

The way you looked in my eyes that one day said it all

Anxiety all-time high

Had to stop for a second and take in the moment

That's why I just sat there looking dumb

Reality check, I'm not so good at this human phenomenon we call love

And that's on me

(Used to tell her everything I was feeling

But then I guess I stopped

'Cause I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming

Every think about how horrified the people we love would be

If they found out who we truly are?

So we just dig ourselves deeper into our lies every day

Ultimately hurting the only people brave enough to love us)