Dear Beloved Lyrics

I'm calling out to you

Do you think about me too

But that's a silly question

Don't know what it's like in heaven

It's been a couple years, still can't believe you gone

The more I'm blowing up, the deeper that I fall

Wish I could show you, what I done and hear you say you're proud

And I probably, wouldn't be smoking all this fucking loud

You would be my company

All you had was love for me

Don't feel it, no

It's just bad vibes and bad energy

Mama pray for me

Demons got a hold on me

I quit the bottle, I just need my water holy

And writing music, is my spiritual remedy

And I when I die, I hope they tell 'em I was legendary

God speed, God's plan

I'm really Him, I'm the man

Got it out the mud, no one gave a hand

No one gave me shit, not even a band

Toxic masculinity and post traumatic stress

Gotta pick the pieces on my own, gotta do the rest

I didn't see myself going through this kinda tragedy

When I heard the news, oh I felt this sharp in my chest

Proud or disappointed, really torn between the two

Doesn't help that you not here cause I'd like to hear it straight from you

I been thinking about the times that I was rude

How I was petty too and I gave you attitude

My life changed in a moment, in an instant

Keep fading from my memory, we been distant

I can't put my heart on ice no more, I gotta listen

Gotta find a way to fill my void, something missing

Life ain't been what it was

Ex thought I was a bust

Man them days in the dust

A nigga had to adjust

Wild West, in the desert

Through the back, through the exit

How it felt, when I came on the scene

Been killing it and I'm only nineteen

Nigga I'm just getting started

You feel the pain in my voice

I really been in the gutter

To the top making noise

I had to build my own ladder

I'm on the road to the Fendi jeans, Gucci, Louis and Prada

I remember when I lost my dad, all my dreams were shattered

But now, to the top, to the moon

I don't care about where I'm at, I'm the hottest in the room

I'm like a lily around some thorns, right now my time to bloom

Like onomatopoeia, I'm blowing up boom