If I Make it to 21 Lyrics

I've bottled all my pain

Now I wear it like a smile

Trying to remember

What it's like to be a child

I miss my innocence

When I was daddy's little girl

But he was ripped right from my fingertips

Codependent on

All of my friends

Don't know if I can be alone

I know they'll leave me in the end

My own sister wont even listen

To the words I have to say

A disappointment to my mom

But at least I know she will stay

Now I'm nineteen pushing onto twenty

Pray to God that I can make it

But Lord knows I can't fake it

I just wanna see my dad

Hate the person that I am

If I'm meant to be alone

Then I can't see it to the end

Don't know how to change

All the parts I hate about myself

Feel like I can't reach out

So I drown in all my emptiness

Pick up all my pieces

Cause I can't let them see

That I'm broken on the inside

If I make it out to twenty

Know that I fought through the pain

And I drove myself insane

I just wanna feel okay

Being who I am

If I can't accept myself

Then I will never be accepted

By the rest of the world

I know it shouldn't matter

But it always hurts

Why does everyone leave ?

No one cares about me

They all know I'll be here

Any second that they need me

Going through changes

All by myself

Don't wanna end up alone

But I just won't ask for help

Will they be proud of me ?

No I'm not asking for no sympathy

If I make it out to twenty

Know that I fought through the pain

And I drove myself insane

I just wanna feel okay

Being who I am

If I can't accept myself

Then I will never be accepted

By the rest of the world

I know it shouldn't matter

But it always hurts

Why does everyone leave ?

No one cares about me

They all know I'll be here

Any second that they need me