Self Aware Lyrics

I ain't finna cry no more tears forreal

With all these things that's said, it's just said and done

I know that the enemy want to see me just down by one

I know niggas really wanna see me losing by a ton

I just lost a loved one I ain't about to lose by a fucking tongue

Yeah

And I'm just tryna be honest

I ain't tryna be hyperbolic, I'm tryna be conscious

I know that I'ma make mistakes but I'ma still stay solid

A lot of niggas can't say the same cause they never was 'bout it

I done made room

And laid place mats for niggas to eat with me

The things that I just did out of love thought they was using me

Put them just all in position, this shit a unity

At least I thought it was but I ain't finna let them ruin me

With all these thoughts of death that's just been sitting all on my consciousness

Thoughts been racing back and forth but I ain't finna act on shit

Others been leaning on me lately just like a activist

Can't lean up on myself when I'm the one I need I'm lacking, shit

And I know I need the music

Don't know who I'ma influence but I know that I'ma use it

Ones that kissed on my face, traded like they was Judas

Maximizing my pain, pissed off, tryna act cooler

And I know that they been hurting they really just tryna mask it

The ones that said they hate me, they'll love me inside my casket

And I ain't speaking up death, cause that shit is ass backwards

I'm just tryna give you a glimpse, of what this life shit captures

And I'll never forget, how they made me feel

When I was stuck up in the field, when they done left me on my own

And I know this shit is real

Niggas texting on my phone, tryna act like we just chill

When they know they did some shit that'll damn near get 'em killed, Yes lord

And I'm just tryna stay in likeness, tryna be just like lightning

Things that was said to me, still out here just fighting

Battling through the music

I'm really writing, reciting, I'm battling like a titan, Yes lord

I still drop this shit and they ain't catch the hint

Nights when I would thought I would die

But I ain't never went, therapeutic with the music never need a therapist

Bought all of these knives to protect me just to go slit my wrist

Thought about it, never really wanna go and talk about it

I done made these moves make mistakes, but I ain't walk around it

I been feeling all of this pressure but I'm a fucking diamond

Hoping that the things that I'm doing would go and change the climate

They treated me like a hand me down, hoping that they hear me now

Even if I drop this shit they'll still go and tear me down

Praying over my thoughts every time that I go and lay me down

For every night I was hurting and I made It through I'll stay around